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Dating Advice: When worlds collide

By Katie on 18 November 2009  |  No Comments

Dear Susie,

I just started dating this great guy over the summer and I decided to invite him to my family’s Thanksgiving dinner in Maryland this weekend.  It has just occurred to me that I overlooked one huge problem… my family is insane!!

My new boyfriend is kind-hearted, sweet, thoughtful and I’ve never heard him raise his voice (even after the Phillies lost the World Series!).  But my family?  Let’s just say they’re wild, loud, obnoxious, and not afraid to speak their minds. I love them to death but I’m afraid my boyfriend is going to be scared by their off-putting ways.  One of their favourite stories to tell my new boyfriends is how when I was a kid I used to wet my pants every time I heard thunder.  SO embarrassing!!

Should I dis-invite him or just spend the weekend praying no major humiliating disasters occur?  And if they DO happen, how can I do quick and effective damage control so I don’t spend the next holiday alone?

Jodi in Philly

Dear Jodi in Philly,

Thanks for your question!

Families and holidays can be the two biggest stresses of our lives.  We love them, but they drive us crazy!  We don’t get to choose our families but these are the people who have loved you and raised you since the day you were born so whether we like it or not, they are important pieces in the puzzle of our lives.

Bringing people together is what the holidays are all about so I think you should definitely bring your boyfriend with you.  He is special to you and your family should get a chance to check him out!

I once brought a boyfriend home for a holiday to meet the family and within 10 minutes of his arrival, the video of me trying to shove grapes up my nose when I was 8 years old was playing for him and everyone else to see.  He just thought the whole thing was hilarious and we dated for nearly a year after that!  From the sounds of how sweet your boyfriend is, I’m sure he’ll have a similar reaction.

You may want to do some pre-emptive damage control with both your family and your boyfriend.  Kindly tell your family this guy is really important to you and you want to them to make a great first impression (aka no stories about any childhood bladder issues).

Your boyfriend would likely benefit from a crash course in “Your Family 101″ as it is probably better he hears all of your humiliating stories from you, not your wacky Uncle Fred.  Though if he’s anything like MY wacky Uncle Fred, he has a million more embarrassing stories up his sleeve to torture you with!

Ultimately, you have to be prepared for your family to embarrass you at some point this weekend but remember: if your boyfriend can’t accept your family for who they are, he may never accept YOU for who you are and you’re probably better off without him.  A decent and worthy man can surely look past your family’s faults to see the love they have for you.  And keep in mind, Christmas is fast approaching and that’s a great opportunity for you to visit HIS crazy family and watch your man squirm!

Good luck!

Susie

Have you ever had a terrible experience bringing your significant other home for the holidays? Let us know in the comments!