class="png_bg">Go back to HOT or NOT

True Story: The Killer Blog

By Katie on 24 August 2010  |  3 Comments

I’m not the type of guy who generally makes the first move or even approaches a beautiful girl in a bar but when I first saw Rachel, I knew I had to say something. Her hair looked like spun gold and her green eyes danced like an 1890’s burlesque dancer.  She sat casually aloof on a bar stool at a trendy coffee shop and the moment I walked in and ordered my espresso, I knew she had to be mine.

After giving myself a Tony Robbins pep talk, I sauntered over to this luscious creature, whose head was stuck in a notebook, writing feverishly.  I could only imagine what brilliant poetry was being written in that very privileged book.  Oh, to be the pen that is so blessed to be held by this otherworldly being.

I stammered “Hello” to her.  She looked up from her notebook and smiled with half her mouth as one eyebrow perched suspiciously.  I quickly introduced myself and asked if I could buy her another coffee.  She replied “Free refills” and smiled with her entire mouth this time.  I nearly keeled over.  The ice was broken and I was in!  We spent the next half an hour making small talk and I was in heaven.  She suddenly got up and said, “I have to go, but would you like to take me out on Friday night?”

Was she kidding?  I nearly jumped out of my chair with joy but humbly accepted her offer with a nonchalant “Yeah sure, I think I’m free on Friday”.  I spent the next four days in panic mode just waiting for something bad to happen.  Nothing happened.  By the time Friday came, I was a certified mess.

I picked Rachel up and we went for drinks at the new “it” bar downtown.  She was even more beautiful than I had remembered.  She was funny, intelligent and worked as a writer – which would explain the notebook.  For whatever crazy reason, Rachel seemed to really like me and she continued to go out with me every Friday night for the next six weeks.

Things were perfect.  I figured this was the girl I was going to marry me and I couldn’t believe my luck.  I decided to invite her to be my date for a friend’s wedding at the end of the month and she wholeheartedly accepted!  I couldn’t wait to show her off to my buddies and see them seething with jealousy.

During the wedding and party after, I noticed my friends acting strange and they appeared to be laughing behind my back.  The next day I called my best buddy and asked him what the deal was and if they had some kind of problem with Rachel.  He said he didn’t know how to tell me this but instructed me to visit some website if I wanted the truth.

Curious, I booted up my computer and went right to the address he had given me.  It was one of those blog websites and at the top of the page, I saw a picture of Rachel, lounged sexily across the entire screen with the title, “My One Year Plan to Date the Biggest Losers in San Fransisco”.  The first article on the page had a picture of me with the headline, “The Poor Schmuck Who Thinks He Has A Chance”.

My body suddenly deflated and I slinked down my chair into a puddle of slush and shame.  Rachel tried to call me for several weeks following my discovery but I never responded.  I have officially learned my lesson and will never attempt to pick up a random girl  again!

Danny, 29, San Fransisco, CA

3 Comments

1. By Jenn on 24 August 2010

   Danny has no reason to feel shame and slush . Who knows the story behind this. Although Rachel was not nice at all doing this, I would give her the opportunity to explain. Hell, she even may make it up to him
   If you haven’t seen the movie “How to lose a Guy in 10 Days” with Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey YOU SHOULD! It is a great movie. It also relates to this story that Danny had. Now go pick up a random gal LOL.

2. By Southern Gent on 30 August 2010

   Wow. This gal really beats everything that I’ve ever heard tell of. I don’t believe that I could have been as nice as Danny was to her. He didn’t take advantage of letting her know (in a nice way, ’cause that would kill her,) that he knew the kind of person that she is.

   “Make it up to him?” Based on a MOVIE? “Jenn” needs to tighten up on that medication. I wouldn’t trust her to park my car. That being said, don’t let this one ornery chick ruin your cruise, dude. Talk to anyone you want, but don’t invest till you really know her,.. just use good sense.

3. By berndj on 3 September 2010

   If “Danny” is real, I hope he never gives “Rachel” the satisfaction of knowing why he stopped seeing her.

   I’m googling her blog now but I’m afraid you’ve anonymized everything well enough to make that impossible. Sigh.