Bet you’ve got your New Moon tickets already! Don’t be embarrassed. We’re not here to judge.

I’m curious about New Moon. I suffered through all four books of the over-hyped Twilight series last winter and was quite disappointed, with the exception of the gorgeous male lead, with the first film. It was low budget and rife with cliché teenage angst. Just like the written version. Maybe that’s what some people like about the books, though? So, if the best part of the first film was Robert-as-Edward, then I’m definitely not rushing to see the second film, especially since, in the book anyway, Edward isn’t even around for much of New Moon.

As you’ll remember, the second novel opens with a severely depressed Bella moping around Forks with a perma-frown as she longs for Edward, who is in Italy. And who stays in Italy for most of the story. Except for a few hallucinations in which Bella stupidly puts herself into danger and sees a vision of Edward’s lovely face just when she think she might die (she doesn’t), he’s pretty much M.I.A.

With Edward gone, Bella starts using Jacob (who is actually a werewolf) as her understudy boyfriend. They hang out, go for motorcycle rides. Jacob falls in love. Bella doesn’t. She’s still pining for Edward, even as she and Jacob become more buddy-buddy. It’s not until the end of New Moon that Edward resurfaces again. At least the moviemakers chose a sexy (edit: very sexy) actor to play Jacob. Good move, casting crew. You know us well!

True or false: Based on the New Moon trailers, Jacob looks sexier with his crew cut than with his shoulder-grazing hair? I say “true.” Those abs make our eyes rejoice, too. Lucky girl, that Taylor Swift is, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now that she’s dating the actor who plays Jacob, who also happens to be named Taylor (Lautner).

Also true, it’s kind of weird to date someone who has the same name as you. But in the case of Swift and Lautner, we get to nickname them “TayTay” – and that’s a catchy name we’re definitely into!

10. Elaine Benes and David Puddy – Seinfeld – These two bickerers are classic comedy fodder. Favorite moments include: their failed attempt to call it quits on a transatlantic flight; their break-up due to Puddy’s overuse of high-fives; and their hilarious meeting with a priest who insists they’ll both burn in Hell, despite Puddy’s affinity for Christian radio.

9. Pam Beesly and Jim Halpert – The Office – Intra-office hook-ups gone wrong can seriously damage your career, but lucky for these two (and for the show’s fans), Jim and Pam were victorious and proved that love can prevail, even in the face of toxic workplace gossip and a meandering, man-child boss.

8. Brian Griffin and Jillian – Family Guy – He’s a talking dog; she’s his dumb, semi-hot, human girlfriend. Need we say more?

7. Ross Gellar and Rachel Green – Friends – If we learned one thing from the reigning on-again/off-again couple of the ‘90s, it’s that persistence pays off: they end up raising a child and living together as if they were spouses, but they get to date other people!

6. Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts – The O.C. – Every teenage, half-Jewish, comic book nerd’s stock skyrocketed after the coupling of babelicious Summer and the garrulous Seth. What girl wouldn’t want her man to create a superhero version of her?

5. Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen – How I Met Your Mother – This quirky duo strikes the perfect balance between mushy teenagers and an old married couple. From college sweethearts to “Mr. and Mrs.,” Lily and Marshall are BFFs who are still down for some spontaneous nookie (on a highway, a pool table, or a bathroom floor) and pounding back pints like freshmen.

4. Serena van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey – Gossip Girl – She’s got the coolest preppy-chic wardrobe on the Upper East Side, and he’s got perfect hair and heartthrob eyes – clearly, this is a match made in TV heaven. Plus, these two lovebirds get extra points for getting it on off-set, too.

3. Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big – Sex and the City – Sure, Mr. Big is as hot as the latest pair of Manolo mules, but it took some of us a while to consider him gush-worthy, what with his commitment issues and his playboy ways. But charm has a potent effect and he eventually won over viewers and – most importantly – the heart of our girl Carrie.

2. Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy – 30 Rock – Ok, so they’re not technically a couple, but they nag each other as if they were, and the sexual tension bubbling beneath the surface of their verbal warring is obvious to everyone, except maybe Kenneth, the wide-eyed NBC page.

1 . Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse – True Blood – He might be tall and handsome, but the only thing “dark” about Vampire Bill is the inside of his coffin. The pallid bloodsucker and his gal add some heat to the already-scorching town of Bon Temps with their fang-tastic romance. Couple-in-real-life bonus: they don’t have to wait until sundown for a steamy tryst.

Some of my double matches on HOT or NOT

A little about me: I am a veteran here, on HOT or NOT. I first started using the site in December 2005. Since then, I’ve met some long term girlfriends, and created tons of everlasting memories. I loved the site so much, I got a job here!

So here I am, at your disposal to help you make the most of HOT or NOT… Lets start off with the basics: First, you’re here to meet women. Whether you are looking for a one night stand, or your soul mate, the reason you took the time to sign up for HOT or NOT, is strictly to meet women. If you claim otherwise, you are lying to yourself!

So here is your homework for this week: try these 5 tips to making the most of your HOT or NOT experience. Use them, and you should have a date by the end of the month. I strongly urge you to write in with your success stories, questions & comments.

1. Create a list of 3 things you want to convey to the women you message. Remember that you want to convey a high amount of value, so put your best foot forward!

2. Yes, creating an opening copy/paste message is great, because it allows you to convey yourself and save time. Still, any educated human being can sniff out a mass-message. Include some of her keywords in your message. Ask her why she has Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a keyword. Tell her she’s cool for having the UFC on her Hotlist!

3. Make her laugh. (with you, not at you…)

4. Don’t be needy! Look, if you come across as a guy who has cobwebs in his condom drawer, and his mom and family doctor on speed dial, you’re up for review to be deleted, very soon.

5. Keep your initial message SHORT! Look, you don’t know her, she could be a complete lunatic! Quit acting like she’s the prize. When she finally starts to catch your attention with her words, instead of her pic, then start writing more. Plus, this weeds out the ‘crazies’.

Okay, I’m out, dudes. Good Luck, see you next week!

-Nate, HOT or NOT

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