I told him the truth: that I was dating someone and that I didn’t feel comfortable getting tipsy with another guy. I had been dating this guy Chris since the beginning of October and the relationship felt solid. Tristan looked disappointed, but said he understood. I knew that even if I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, I still probably wouldn’t date Tristan. We were good friends. I liked it that way.

A couple of weeks later, I declared war on Chris when I found out that he had been two-timing me pretty much from the day we hooked up. I won the battle and by Christmas I was single again.

My friends and I had bought tickets for a New Year’s Eve party at a trendy brewery months in advance. Tristan was the first person I saw when I walked into the party. We talked about the final papers that we submitted in December, lame Christmas gifts we received, and our schedules for the upcoming semester. No fake conversation, no shifty eyes. We each grabbed a drink from the bar and then went our separate ways.

I was having a riot dancing with my friends and I kept locking eyes with this tall, burly, blond guy standing nearby. After smiling at him about a hundred times, I finally decided to go over and introduce myself. We talked and flirted and got to know each other better. His name was Pete. He went to school in British Columbia, but was home for Christmas and was out partying with his high school friends.

At one point, I could see Tristan out of the corner of my eye. Was he really walking toward us? And why was he looking at us strangely like that? I tensed up. What did he want? Was he going to embarrass me? Turns out I was in the middle of embarrassing myself.

My jaw fell to the grimy, beer-soaked floor when Tristan and Pete started casually talking to each other – they knew each other? What were the chances?

Not only did Tristan and Pete know each, they grew up on the same street, they spent a summer traveling through South America together, they were practically BFFs. I must have looked like such a floozy, since one month earlier I had told Tristan that I was seeing someone and there I was, snubbing him once again and wanting desperately to snag a kiss from Pete by the time the ball dropped.

I explained myself to Tristan (“I really did have a boyfriend then!”) and Pete (“I really am single now!”) and everyone seemed ok with it in the end. Pete and I kissed at midnight – which led to more kissing after midnight, too – but I didn’t see him again after that. Tristan and I were still kind of friends at school, but things were definitely different during second semester. Thankfully, for both of us, he didn’t set himself up for further rejection by asking me out again.

Scarlett, 23, Toronto

Have you ever been in a sticky situation like this? What did you do?

Got  your own hilarious, heart-breaking, or horrifying real life dating story? Send it to us. We’d love to hear it!

I told him the truth: that I was dating someone and that I didn’t feel comfortable getting tipsy with another guy. I had been dating this guy Chris since the beginning of October and the relationship felt solid. Tristan looked disappointed, but said he understood. I knew that even if I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, I still probably wouldn’t date Tristan. We were good friends. I liked it that way.

A couple of weeks later, I declared war on Chris when I found out that he had been two-timing me pretty much from the day we hooked up. I won the battle and by Christmas I was single again.

My friends and I had bought tickets for a New Year’s Eve party at a trendy brewery months in advance. Tristan was the first person I saw when I walked into the party. We talked about the final papers that we submitted in December, lame Christmas gifts we received, and our schedules for the upcoming semester. No fake conversation, no shifty eyes. We each grabbed a drink from the bar and then went our separate ways.

I was having a riot dancing with my friends and I kept locking eyes with this tall, burly, blond guy standing nearby. After smiling at him about a hundred times, I finally decided to go over and introduce myself. We talked and flirted and got to know each other better. His name was Pete. He went to school in British Columbia, but was home for Christmas and was out partying with his high school friends.

At one point, I could see Tristan out of the corner of my eye. Was he really walking toward us? And why was he looking at us strangely like that? I tensed up. What did he want? Was he going to embarrass me? Turns out I was in the middle of embarrassing myself.

My jaw fell to the grimy, beer-soaked floor when Tristan and Pete started casually talking to each other – they knew each other? What were the chances?

Not only did Tristan and Pete know each, they grew up on the same street, they spent a summer traveling through South America together, they were practically BFFs. I must have looked like such a floozy, since one month earlier I had told Tristan that I was seeing someone and there I was, snubbing him once again and wanting desperately to snag a kiss from Pete by the time the ball dropped.

I explained myself to Tristan (“I really did have a boyfriend then!”) and Pete (“I really am single now!”) and everyone seemed ok with it in the end. Pete and I kissed at midnight – which led to more kissing after midnight, too – but I didn’t see him again after that. Tristan and I were still kind of friends at school, but things were definitely different during second semester. Thankfully, for both of us, he didn’t set himself up for further rejection by asking me out again.

Scarlett, 23, Toronto

Have you ever been in a sticky situation like this? What did you do?

Got  your own hilarious, heart-breaking, or horrifying real life dating story? Send it to us. We’d love to hear it!

Hey guys,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and everything’s been going great, in fact better than great, I’m hearing wedding bells.  Last week however, I heard bells of a different kind, alarm bells! I walked in on my boyfriend wearing a polka dot dress and admiring himself in the mirror. Now I have always considered myself open-minded, but this really shocked me. We haven’t really spoken about it since and things are very uncomfortable.  I don’t know what to say to him and I’m not sure if I could be with a guy who dresses up in outfits my mother wouldn’t even wear. What should I do?

Dayna

He says:

Now I’ve never dressed up in women’s clothing. Well, OK, there was that one time my girlfriend thought it would be “funny” to see me in her under things. That ended badly because they fit me better than they did her and somehow that meant I had called her fat. Anyway, your boyfriend is probably feeling embarrassed and scared just like you are. The longer you leave it without talking, the worse it’s going to get. So get chatty.

You both need to know where you stand. You need to know if his cross-dressing extends into other pursuits, but just because he gets a kick from polka dots, doesn’t mean he is gay, or wants to be a woman. If this is something he needs in his life, you have to decide if you can accept it. You say the relationship was going well before this happened and that you are open minded, so perhaps you can work through this. In the end you’ll get a great boyfriend that actually wants to go shopping with you! Maybe you’ll even be able to get him out of mum dresses and into something more fashionable. Just don’t get mad if he looks better in your clothes than you do. Right, I think you have a boyfriend to talk to, off you go.

She says:

I hate it to admit it, but what he says is right. You gotta talk to the dude and discuss the giant polka-dotted elephant in the room. He’s probably feeling a tad sheepish about the whole thing and doesn’t know how to bring it up. Once you make him realize that you’re up for talking about this,  hopefully he’ll open up about the incident and tell you how dressing up like Great Aunt Mildred makes him feel and why he does/did it. It will be easier to sort out your feelings once you’ve heard his side of the story.

Have you ever heard the expression “The groom was prettier than the bride”? Sounds to me like this could be the general impression at your hypothetical wedding. Personally, I like being the girlie one in a relationship and don’t want to feel like my man and I are contestants in a beauty pageant every time we hang out. I want my boyfriend to like the way that I look in lingerie, not to wish that he had a matching set! If you’re not as vain as me and you’re willing to risk being upstaged by your cross-dressing boyfriend, then go for it, girl! They say that love conquers all and if you’re sure this is the guy for you, then stand by your man. Sounds, though, like you might wanna sit him down for an episode or two of What Not to Wear.

What would you do if you were in Dayna’s shoes?

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What’s your favorite holiday go-to cocktail?

Dear Susie,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for six months and he makes way more money than me. I’m still on a tight student budget and I survive on bagels and ramen noodles most days of the week. I want to buy him a nice Christmas present, but I can’t afford to get him very much. I’m worried that things will be awkward on Christmas morning when we exchange gifts (in front of his wealthy family) and I give him a homemade twig picture frame and he gives me an iPod or a Coach purse. What should I do?

Thanks,

Melanie

Modest Melanie,

Kudos to you – sticking to a budget is a great way to manage your finances (although, I do worry about the long-term effects of your sodium-rich diet!). Show your boyfriend everything you’ve learned about budgeting by sitting him down to make couple’s financial plan for his-and-her holiday presents.

Unless your boyfriend’s got the brainpower of a plastic Christmas tree, he’s probably realized by now that you’re not exactly rolling in coin and that you might not be able to spend much on gifts for him. It’s the thought that counts, though, right? And we all know that an expensive item doesn’t always translate into a thoughtful or meaningful present. Anyone – with money – can walk into a store and buy a costly item and expect that the high price tag or chichi brand name will be enough to thrill the recipient. What a pile of horse poop! It takes a lot more thought and creativity to find something that your special someone will appreciate while sticking to a slim budget.

You’ve got to level the playing field so that you and your guy are equals. You might not be able to match the amount that he wants to spend on your gift, but he can certainly lower his budget to match yours. Tell him that you feel anxious because you have to stick to your budget in order to cover your monthly expenses, but that you also want to give him something to open on Christmas morning that doesn’t look like a kindergartner’s art project. Give him the exact budget that works for you and tell him that you want him to stick to the same price point – and no matter how much he protests that he wants to buy you diamond studs from Tiffany or Chanel ballet flats, you must insist that he stay within the agreed-upon budget. That way, when you exchange gifts on Christmas morning, nobody will feel sheepish about giving an “inadequate” gift.

Brilliant back-up plan: buy him something small (a set of golf-balls, a new tuque, a CD of his fave band) to open on Christmas morning and then take him shopping after the 25th when all of the stores have mega-sales and you can get really cool stuff for half the price. You’ll still have to set a budget, but this way, you’ll get more bang for your hard-earned buck.

Are you on a tight budget this year? What will you do to buy gifts for your significant other without breaking the bank?

My boyfriend’s sister is getting married next summer and she asked me to be in her wedding party. I have no idea why, though, because we’re not even friends. She is cold and stand-offish towards me at family gatherings and I’m always amazed that she and my awesome boyfriend come from the same gene pool. Do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be in his sister’s wedding? Is there any way at all that I could get out of this dreadful obligation?

Save me from this bridesmaid Hell!

Monica, New York, NY

Here’s the short answer, Monica: If you want to keep dating your boyfriend, the only way you can shirk this gig is if you’re giving birth, undergoing emergency surgery, or dead on the day of his sister’s wedding. Depending on how serious you and your honey are, you might be part of this family one day, so you don’t want to go around hurting people’s feelings and stirring up drama.

You’re right that in this situation, it feels more like a duty than an honor to be part of someone’s special day. But there are times in life when we suck it up and do things not for ourselves, but for the people whom we love and care about. You can tell your boyfriend that you were surprised that his sister chose you as a bridesmaid, since you don’t feel very close with her, but it might upset him or cause some awkwardness if you just blurt out that you don’t like her and would rather drag razorblades across your eyeballs than be in her wedding party.

I tend to concentrate on the positive in these situations. There will likely be showers, a Stag and Doe, a bachelorette bash, and maybe even a lingerie party between now and the dreaded wedding. These gatherings will give you ample opportunity to spend more time with the bride-to-be and hopefully you’ll get to know each other better. Put the focus on her and ask wedding-related questions to break the ice and spark conversation: “Have you picked out flowers yet?” or “I heard you bought your dress?” or “Can you believe the wedding is only a month away?”

If you make small efforts like this and you feel that she is still aloof and not interested in getting to know you better, then at least you’ll know that you tried and that she’s the one with issues. Once the wedding formalities are over, you have the freedom to avoid hanging out with her. Hopefully, though, her picking you as a bridesmaid is a sign that she does want to get to know you better and become closer.

Do you agree with Susie’s advice? Would you stand-up in someone’s wedding, even if you didn’t like the bride?

My boyfriend’s sister is getting married next summer and she asked me to be in her wedding party. I have no idea why, though, because we’re not even friends. She is cold and stand-offish towards me at family gatherings and I’m always amazed that she and my awesome boyfriend come from the same gene pool. Do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be in his sister’s wedding? Is there any way at all that I could get out of this dreadful obligation?

Save me from this bridesmaid Hell!

Monica, New York, NY

Here’s the short answer, Monica: If you want to keep dating your boyfriend, the only way you can shirk this gig is if you’re giving birth, undergoing emergency surgery, or dead on the day of his sister’s wedding. Depending on how serious you and your honey are, you might be part of this family one day, so you don’t want to go around hurting people’s feelings and stirring up drama.

You’re right that in this situation, it feels more like a duty than an honor to be part of someone’s special day. But there are times in life when we suck it up and do things not for ourselves, but for the people whom we love and care about. You can tell your boyfriend that you were surprised that his sister chose you as a bridesmaid, since you don’t feel very close with her, but it might upset him or cause some awkwardness if you just blurt out that you don’t like her and would rather drag razorblades across your eyeballs than be in her wedding party.

I tend to concentrate on the positive in these situations. There will likely be showers, a Stag and Doe, a bachelorette bash, and maybe even a lingerie party between now and the dreaded wedding. These gatherings will give you ample opportunity to spend more time with the bride-to-be and hopefully you’ll get to know each other better. Put the focus on her and ask wedding-related questions to break the ice and spark conversation: “Have you picked out flowers yet?” or “I heard you bought your dress?” or “Can you believe the wedding is only a month away?”

If you make small efforts like this and you feel that she is still aloof and not interested in getting to know you better, then at least you’ll know that you tried and that she’s the one with issues. Once the wedding formalities are over, you have the freedom to avoid hanging out with her. Hopefully, though, her picking you as a bridesmaid is a sign that she does want to get to know you better and become closer.

Do you agree with Susie’s advice? Would you stand-up in someone’s wedding, even if you didn’t like the bride?

But it doesn’t have to be that way, if you’re up for a challenge. It’s tough to keep your abs taut and your butt eye-poppingly firm when you’re surrounded by turkey smothered in its own gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, carb-lovers stuffing, sugary sweet potato casserole, pumpkin pie with homemade whipped cream, and caramel apple crisp topped with a soft, fluffy scoop of French vanilla ice cream. Just thinking about these foods can make you feel 10 lbs heavier – and that’s just one meal! Here are a few tips that will keep you from looking like a bowlful of jelly come January 1^st.

Eat low-fat meals before your Turkey Dinner: From today until Thursday morning, eat low-cal meals in small portions. For breakfast, stick to whole-wheat English muffins with natural peanut butter, or stone-cut oatmeal topped with raisins and skim milk. Salads with lots of veggies and an oil-and-vinegar dressing should do for lunch. Add some grilled chicken if you’re not an herbivore and can’t subsist on greens and more greens. Almonds, low-fat yogurt with granola, and green apples are excellent snack choices if your stomach grumbles between meals. For dinner, stick with grilled fish or chicken, with quinoa or brown rice, and steamed veggies on the side.

Work it, baby!: Working out on the days leading up to your family dinner will give you even more opportunity to pig out on Thursday. Ride your bike for an hour, or do a 40-minute jog, or squeeze in an extra weight-training session at the gym. You’ll increase your cardiovascular endurance and you’ll bank some calories that you can “spend” on that second piece of pie on Thursday.

Portion control: Remember how your grandmother used to say that “your eyes were bigger than your stomach” when you overzealously loaded up your plate with some yummy home cookin’ then left half of it untouched as you doubled-over in pain due to your aching belly? You might want to keep Granny’s mantra in mind when you’re making your plate on Thanksgiving Day. Take small portions of everything – yes, you can taste it all! When you’re done the first serving, pause for a few minutes to let yourself digest and if you’re still hungry afterward and you’re just dying to have a second helping of candied yam soufflé, go for it – this is what all of your pre-Thanksgiving Dinner workouts and low-cal intake allowed you to do, after all. But remember, there’s still dessert!

With all of the emphasis on food and shopping surrounding this holiday, we sometimes forget that it’s about giving thanks and not just about consumption. Be thankful for the body you’ve got by feeding it the proper foods and giving it lots and lots of exercise.  These tips will help you do that, while also allowing you to indulge in the tasty foods, for which you are also presumably thankful.

What are your plans for staying healthy and keeping fit this holiday season?

There are so many hot new video games out at the moment; it’s hard to know what to play first. So what do you do when your girlfriend wants to spend some quality time together, but you would rather be racking up XP points on Modern Warfare 2?

How about making date night game night! Convincing her that this is a good idea might be a hard sell, so choose your games wisely. If the first thing she encounters is you shouting down your headset at the 12 year old who just shot you in the face over Xbox Live, she may not last the night.

Obviously the Wii is a good place to start, with its family friendly games and illusion that you may actually be doing some exercise while you play, but, guys, let’s face it – the Wii is for kids, and we need some hardcore gaming action here.

Before you get to the games, avatar creation is a good idea to get your lady more immersed in the gaming world. She will love creating a mini version of herself on Xbox Live and shopping for clothes and accessories on the avatar marketplace.  Once this digital foreplay is over, it’s time for the main event. The trick here is to choose a game with strong female characters, but one you will also enjoy playing. Just because she is a girl, doesn’t mean we need to be playing Barbie’s Horse Adventure. Games like Left For Dead and Resident Evil 5 both have strong female characters and are great games to play together. Don’t forget the eye candy either. She will get just as much out of watching Uncharted Nathan Drake‘s biceps pulsing, as we do watching Lara’s butt for hours on end.

Hopefully gaming night will be a success and could become a regular feature on your dating schedule and when the console gets turned off, it doesn’t have to be game over. A new sort of game can start, where all that finger exercise may come in handy!