Bet you’ve got your New Moon tickets already! Don’t be embarrassed. We’re not here to judge.

I’m curious about New Moon. I suffered through all four books of the over-hyped Twilight series last winter and was quite disappointed, with the exception of the gorgeous male lead, with the first film. It was low budget and rife with cliché teenage angst. Just like the written version. Maybe that’s what some people like about the books, though? So, if the best part of the first film was Robert-as-Edward, then I’m definitely not rushing to see the second film, especially since, in the book anyway, Edward isn’t even around for much of New Moon.

As you’ll remember, the second novel opens with a severely depressed Bella moping around Forks with a perma-frown as she longs for Edward, who is in Italy. And who stays in Italy for most of the story. Except for a few hallucinations in which Bella stupidly puts herself into danger and sees a vision of Edward’s lovely face just when she think she might die (she doesn’t), he’s pretty much M.I.A.

With Edward gone, Bella starts using Jacob (who is actually a werewolf) as her understudy boyfriend. They hang out, go for motorcycle rides. Jacob falls in love. Bella doesn’t. She’s still pining for Edward, even as she and Jacob become more buddy-buddy. It’s not until the end of New Moon that Edward resurfaces again. At least the moviemakers chose a sexy (edit: very sexy) actor to play Jacob. Good move, casting crew. You know us well!

True or false: Based on the New Moon trailers, Jacob looks sexier with his crew cut than with his shoulder-grazing hair? I say “true.” Those abs make our eyes rejoice, too. Lucky girl, that Taylor Swift is, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now that she’s dating the actor who plays Jacob, who also happens to be named Taylor (Lautner).

Also true, it’s kind of weird to date someone who has the same name as you. But in the case of Swift and Lautner, we get to nickname them “TayTay” – and that’s a catchy name we’re definitely into!

There was this super hot chick in my Biology class. She was seriously the hottest chick I’d seen since I started university.

I spent most of the class staring at her ‘cause I liked her hair and the way she only ever smiled or laughed if something was funny as balls. I tried all of my class-clown tricks and smart-ass jokes to see that laugh, or at least a smile. Nothing worked.

Then one day, I just asked her out. She said yes and I couldn’t speak. I was so pumped and excited. We planned to meet at the campus pub the next night.

I was nervous before our date, so I went early and had some beers.  I didn’t want to be drunk when she got there, just something to bring back my cool. I was thinking about what she’d look like in a wet t-shirt when she walked into the pub.

“Hey,” she said.

I tried to step down from my barstool to give her a hug and my legs got caught in the rungs and I nosedived to the ground. I felt so embarrassed. And sore. What a disaster.

But from the ground, I could hear her laughing. I had actually made her laugh! She thought something I did was funny! I would have stayed down there forever if it meant that she would keep laughing. But I wanted to see that smile. So I stood up.

And there it was. Like a prize. A gold medal that I had finally won with an embarrassing fall from a barstool. I looked at her and smiled back and we kept laughing and looking at each other.

“God, that was hilarious,” she said, still smiling.

My prize slipped through the gutter, though.  I got cocky, I guess. I was nervous. We were really hitting it off. So I just blurted it out, like a belch:

“You’re so f***ing hot!”

You can imagine it got pretty awkward after that. I know it wasn’t smooth, but I couldn’t stop myself. She stopped laughing and I could see her tense up. Things were going so well, and the mood just changed. We had a drink, and mostly small-talked, but whatever semblance of chemistry I felt between us before was gone. I screwed up. Big time. Go figure.

Phil, 22, Eugene, OR

What would you have done if you were his date? Would you have given him a second chance? Let us know. Maybe it’ll make Phil feel better!

I was out for drinks one Thursday night with a bunch of my girlfriends and there was this really cute guy at the next table. You could tell that he was on a first date and that he so wasn’t into it. His date was good-looking with perky, red curls, but her hotness factor plummeted as soon as she opened her mouth, which never, ever stopped flapping. She literally didn’t stop talking. I don’t think she even stopped to catch her breath. The poor guy looked bored out of his pretty skull.

My friends and I were whispering and laughing about what a horrible first date this was and we felt bad for the cute guy who had clearly been set-up with a dud. I excused myself from the table and went to ask the bartender for a napkin. When I came back to the table I said, “Does anybody have a pen?” We all searched our purses and found just about everything except a writing utensil. A fuchsia lip liner was the best we could do.

“What are you doing?” my friends asked, giggling.

When I finished writing, I slid the paper napkin into the middle of the table so that everyone could take a look. It said “Date not going so hot? Call me if you want to meet up afterwards” and then I put my name and number.

As soon as the hunky guy got up and went to the bathroom, I knew that it was now or never. I took my napkin and purse and went up to the bar like I was going to order another cocktail. I waited patiently for a few minutes and when I saw him exit the men’s room, I made my move.

“Hi,” I said, smiling flirtatiously as I stepped into his path.

“Hello,” he said and before I could say my next sentence, I slipped him the napkin and prayed that the makeup hadn’t smudged when I folded it in half. He opened it and his perfect lips spread into a smile.

He looked up at me, smiled radiantly again, and tucked the love note into his pocket. We hadn’t said anything to each other, but I was confident we had made a connection.

Later that night, my friends and I were dancing at a bar down the street from where we had witnessed the nightmare date scene. My phone buzzed. I had a text and it was from Dream Boy: “Where are you? Matt.” It was like we were already friends – no explanation about how he was the guy from the bar that I had tried to pick up. I texted him back and told him where we were and was so giddy when he said he’d be there in ten minutes. I felt my heart drop (I swear it crashed right through the dance floor) when I saw him appear next to me a few minutes later. He smiled and said hi and I returned the gesture.

Matt and I dated for five months and it was awesome. Things didn’t work out because he was a few years older than me and, as my mom says, we were at “different stages” in our lives. We’re still friends, though, and I’m so glad that I had the guts to take a risk that night, because it definitely paid off.

Lindsay, 23, from Madison, WI

Would you have the guts to do what Lindsay did?

Bella and Edward (Twilight) – It’s gonna take a crapload of pale cover-up to achieve the milky complexion of the undead Edward and the precise shade of Bella’s “I’m-from-Arizona-but-am-forced-to-live-in-Oregon” pale.

Edward: Mess up your locks and douse them with Dep hair gel and then steal your girlfriend’s hairspray and use all of the remaining goo to make sure that your ‘do retains its disheveled sexiness for the entire evening. Insert fake blood suckers (unless you’ve got a pair of your own). Smear pale foundation (your girlfriend will know what this is) all over your face, hands, and neck. Now, apply glitter to every part of exposed skin and you’ll shine exactly like Edward does when he gets caught in the sun – a rare occasion in the drizzly town of Forks, but if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what we mean. You can bet your ass that nobody else at the party will have diamond vampire skin.

Bella: Ditto as Edward with the pale make-up. Tousle your hair so that it looks like you haven’t brushed it or washed it in seven days. Wear jeans, a plain t-shirt under a plaid shirt (unbuttoned), an oversized jacket and black, high-top Converse. Now you must pout, pout, pout until your lips hurt from pouting so much that you can’t help but really pout because now you’re sad. If you feel like smiling, ask yourself, “What would Bella do?” and pout!

Kurt and Courtney (Nirvana) – The unstable royal couple of grunge, Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, make for a timeless costume idea.

Kurt: Obviously, greasy blonde locks will be essential here. Hopefully you’ve thought this through and you bleached your hair last month and now you’ve got some sweet rock’n’roll roots. You’ll also need to borrow your grandfather’s favorite fuzzy cardigan and, in Seattle in the early ‘90s there was no such thing as too much plaid, so the same goes with this costume. You’ll need the classic black Chuck Taylors that Kurt worshipped. For props, a cigarette (or candy Popeyes if you’re a nonsmoker) and big buggy plastic sunglasses (we like the red ones!) to hide your bloodshot eyes are all you’ll need.

Courtney: We’re going for Court’s grunge glamour look here: platinum blonde hair with greasy three inch roots. Eyes rimmed with heaps of charcoal liner, heavily smudged. Your pucker will be most accurate if you sloppily apply it with fire-engine red lipstick. A white, low-cut satin dress (get it a bit dirty first) and – you guessed it – a pair of black high-top Cons will give you Courtney’s edgy red-carpet look. Borrow a doll from your younger sister, dress it up like their lovechild Frances Bean, and you’ll have the entire Cobain clan in the house.

Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen (The Sex Pistols) – Into self-destructive bad-asses, but detest ‘90s fashion? Fret not – channel 1970s wild child Sid Vicious and Nancy, his troubled, rebellious girlfriend.

Sid: Dye your hair black and then spike it all around the circumference of your head so that you look like a frightened porcupine. You’d be so hardcore if you went shirtless for this costume (Google Sid and you’ll see why), but if you’re gonna whine about your cold your nipples all night, then please make sure you have a leather jacket on standby to protect your wimpy torso. Wear motorcycle boots, your black drainpipe hipster jeans and a thick chain around your neck with a dangling padlock on it and you’ll look so damn punk that you’ll probably start dressing like this all of the time.

Nancy: Nancy kind of looks like Courtney Love (or should that be the other way around?), except she gets to wear fierce leather pants. But we think Nanc hit the fashion jackpot when she wore a punklamorous outfit of a mini black-and-white striped sweater dress over shredded pantyhose and black pumps. You’ll need from-a-bottle blonde hair that is frizzy and teased to infinity and so much dark shadow around your eyes that they look like two vacuous blackholes. Enter the party with a subtle drugged stupor and people will instantly ask you if Sid’s coming, too.

Wayne and Garth (Wayne’s World) – This is a costume for a party-on couple that could be hilarious if the chick doesn’t mind dressing up as a dude (but Garth kinda looks like a lady, anyway). Excellent!

Wayne:  Ingredients: 1 long black wig (with bangs, for best results). 1 black t-shirt (slim fitting, but not douchebag-tight). 1 black trucker hat with a “Wayne’s World” decal (ask your mom to iron it on for you). 1 pair light denim jeans, ripped in both knees. 1 pair black, high-top Converse. 1 toothy grin and a perfected “Schwing. Double-schwing!”

Garth:  If you have long blonde hair then you won’t need a wig, just lots of hairspray (and again, preferably bangs. If you don’t have them, cut some. Everyone loves enthusiasm and realism in a Halloween costume). Like Wayne, you’ll need worn, holey jeans and black Converse high-tops. A heavy metal band t-shirt layered under a ratty plaid shirt is all you’ll need in terms of wardrobe. Finish off the look with a pair of thick, horn-rimmed frames and let’s not forget Garth’s awesome chuckle and that awkward, no-top-lip grin.

Marilyn Monroe and JFK (Zombie edition)– Get creative and imagine what Ms. Monroe and JFK would like look if they rose from the dead to recreate their steamy, 1962 affair with a graveyard romp.

JFK: Start with a stately black suit, a skinny tie and a silk hanky to go in the pocket. Now, cut the bottom off the pants unevenly, loosen the tie so that it hangs low from your neck, and wrinkle the hanky. Part your hair on the side and use gel to achieve smoothness fit for a President, then blow it with a hair-dryer to mess it up and add leaves and twigs to it (remember, you’ve just clawed your way out from underground). Zombify your skin to make it look pale, bruised and bloody and replace that famous pearly smile with a pair of false rotten teeth.

Marilyn: Find a glamorous, low-cut dress with a wide skirt. Do your hair in rollers and wear false eyelashes and lots of glam red lipstick. Like your dead lover, you’ll want to add debris from your lawn to your hair and get your dress real dirty and ripped (don’t be too slash-happy though and turn this into yet another opportunity to be an uber-slut on Halloween when you’re an otherwise respectably dressed gal). Get your skin all bloody and bruised, buy the same rotten smile that Johnny Boy has and, remember, Marilyn might be dead, but no one will buy your costume if you don’t perfect her oh-so-signature sexy voice.

Which celeb couple will you be this year? Click here for more hot Halloween costume ideas!

But it was Tracy Jordan, the show’s “talented,” former alcoholic with questionable parenting skills, who made us crack up hard with the realization that he was losing touch with his roots, which was as sobering to him as seeing Jenna doing a pole dance wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. Megastars that are oblivious to the fact that not everyone serves Dom Perignon to their cats and who throw diva tantrums because they can’t make friends with street folk deserve to be laughed at.

Here’s a look at five other priceless Tracy Jordan moments, thanks to Nerve.com.

Who’s your favourite 30 Rock character?

Add more photos: It’s totally FREE to add more photos to your HOT or NOT profile! You might look entirely different from one shot to the next and adding more pictures lets people see more aspects of your personality, style, and lifestyle. For example, are you outdoors a lot, or always hanging out at a pub, or constantly snapping shots of yourself while pumping iron?

Beef up your intro: There’s nothing lamer than a profile intro that says “I’ll fill this in later,” or “I have nothing to say.” These intros send a strong message that the user is not serious about meeting people on the site, or sharing things about his/her life, interests, or personality. It might also be interpreted as complacency, or laziness – probably not the message you want to broadcast if you’re actually on the site to meet people.

By popular request, we have recently extended the length of the intros. So, those users who wish to keep things short and sweet (but still captivating!), can certainly do so, while long-winded users now have the freedom to express themselves, without feeling constrained by a 500-word limit.

Poke someone you think is hot: Poking someone is fun, simple, and – best of all – FREE! Poking one of your Double-Matches is a good way to let someone know that you like their profile. If you’re a bit shy, this is a great way to get someone’s attention – even better if you can follow it up with a message.

Send a FREE note to someone: It’s totally FREE for a Basic member to contact a Star Member, since only one person needs to have a paid account to correspond through our messaging feature. But, if you’ve seen a profile of someone you just can’t resist and you’re both Basic members, you can still let them know you think they’re groovy by clicking on the “Send Note” link below their profile picture on your Double-Matches page. One of you will need to purchase a Star Membership if you want the correspondence to continue beyond the initial note (and hopefully you do!), but it’s still a great way to say something nice to someone without spending a dime.