I told him the truth: that I was dating someone and that I didn’t feel comfortable getting tipsy with another guy. I had been dating this guy Chris since the beginning of October and the relationship felt solid. Tristan looked disappointed, but said he understood. I knew that even if I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, I still probably wouldn’t date Tristan. We were good friends. I liked it that way.

A couple of weeks later, I declared war on Chris when I found out that he had been two-timing me pretty much from the day we hooked up. I won the battle and by Christmas I was single again.

My friends and I had bought tickets for a New Year’s Eve party at a trendy brewery months in advance. Tristan was the first person I saw when I walked into the party. We talked about the final papers that we submitted in December, lame Christmas gifts we received, and our schedules for the upcoming semester. No fake conversation, no shifty eyes. We each grabbed a drink from the bar and then went our separate ways.

I was having a riot dancing with my friends and I kept locking eyes with this tall, burly, blond guy standing nearby. After smiling at him about a hundred times, I finally decided to go over and introduce myself. We talked and flirted and got to know each other better. His name was Pete. He went to school in British Columbia, but was home for Christmas and was out partying with his high school friends.

At one point, I could see Tristan out of the corner of my eye. Was he really walking toward us? And why was he looking at us strangely like that? I tensed up. What did he want? Was he going to embarrass me? Turns out I was in the middle of embarrassing myself.

My jaw fell to the grimy, beer-soaked floor when Tristan and Pete started casually talking to each other – they knew each other? What were the chances?

Not only did Tristan and Pete know each, they grew up on the same street, they spent a summer traveling through South America together, they were practically BFFs. I must have looked like such a floozy, since one month earlier I had told Tristan that I was seeing someone and there I was, snubbing him once again and wanting desperately to snag a kiss from Pete by the time the ball dropped.

I explained myself to Tristan (“I really did have a boyfriend then!”) and Pete (“I really am single now!”) and everyone seemed ok with it in the end. Pete and I kissed at midnight – which led to more kissing after midnight, too – but I didn’t see him again after that. Tristan and I were still kind of friends at school, but things were definitely different during second semester. Thankfully, for both of us, he didn’t set himself up for further rejection by asking me out again.

Scarlett, 23, Toronto

Have you ever been in a sticky situation like this? What did you do?

Got  your own hilarious, heart-breaking, or horrifying real life dating story? Send it to us. We’d love to hear it!

I told him the truth: that I was dating someone and that I didn’t feel comfortable getting tipsy with another guy. I had been dating this guy Chris since the beginning of October and the relationship felt solid. Tristan looked disappointed, but said he understood. I knew that even if I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, I still probably wouldn’t date Tristan. We were good friends. I liked it that way.

A couple of weeks later, I declared war on Chris when I found out that he had been two-timing me pretty much from the day we hooked up. I won the battle and by Christmas I was single again.

My friends and I had bought tickets for a New Year’s Eve party at a trendy brewery months in advance. Tristan was the first person I saw when I walked into the party. We talked about the final papers that we submitted in December, lame Christmas gifts we received, and our schedules for the upcoming semester. No fake conversation, no shifty eyes. We each grabbed a drink from the bar and then went our separate ways.

I was having a riot dancing with my friends and I kept locking eyes with this tall, burly, blond guy standing nearby. After smiling at him about a hundred times, I finally decided to go over and introduce myself. We talked and flirted and got to know each other better. His name was Pete. He went to school in British Columbia, but was home for Christmas and was out partying with his high school friends.

At one point, I could see Tristan out of the corner of my eye. Was he really walking toward us? And why was he looking at us strangely like that? I tensed up. What did he want? Was he going to embarrass me? Turns out I was in the middle of embarrassing myself.

My jaw fell to the grimy, beer-soaked floor when Tristan and Pete started casually talking to each other – they knew each other? What were the chances?

Not only did Tristan and Pete know each, they grew up on the same street, they spent a summer traveling through South America together, they were practically BFFs. I must have looked like such a floozy, since one month earlier I had told Tristan that I was seeing someone and there I was, snubbing him once again and wanting desperately to snag a kiss from Pete by the time the ball dropped.

I explained myself to Tristan (“I really did have a boyfriend then!”) and Pete (“I really am single now!”) and everyone seemed ok with it in the end. Pete and I kissed at midnight – which led to more kissing after midnight, too – but I didn’t see him again after that. Tristan and I were still kind of friends at school, but things were definitely different during second semester. Thankfully, for both of us, he didn’t set himself up for further rejection by asking me out again.

Scarlett, 23, Toronto

Have you ever been in a sticky situation like this? What did you do?

Got  your own hilarious, heart-breaking, or horrifying real life dating story? Send it to us. We’d love to hear it!

Hi guys,

I love my boyfriend, but I can’t stand his friends! They’re immature, disrespectful slobs. All they want to do is drink beer and talk about chicks. My boyfriend turns into a different person when they’re around. I don’t want to tell him that he can’t see his friends anymore, but it’s really starting to put a strain on our relationship.

What do I do?

Ally

She Says:

Ah, yes. You’re referring to the Golden Rule of Manhood, which dictates that all men must turn into Neanderthals when their buddies are in the room. It’s like the sweet guy who, just last night, was telling you how much he likes you, has been abducted by aliens and you’re left wondering if he’ll ever return to Earth again.

The best thing to do in this situation is to use your words. Hopefully your dude’s not actually from the Stone Age and has learned the modern communication tools of talking and listening (complex for some males, I know, but not entirely impossible). Tell him how it makes you feel when you’re chilling with him and the guys: “I feel uncomfortable when your friends make inappropriate jokes,” or “I want to hang out with you and the guys, but I feel awkward when they chug beer and talk about porn.”

Don’t be on the attack and point out his friends’ inability to pick up after themselves or the fact that you know 3-year-olds with more maturity, though, because your boyfriend will defend them and possibly turn against you.

Being honest and telling your boyfriend how you feel doesn’t mean that his butthead friends will change their behavior, but if your guy knows how it makes you feel, he might be less inclined to join in on the buffoonery when you’re around.

He Says:

Guys getting together, drinking too much, talking about girls and acting like imbeciles? Yep, that sounds about right. This is what guys do and it’s not hugely different from how a group of girlfriends act when they get together, except there would be more giggling and less knuckle dragging.

Instead of trying to hang out with the guys, let your boyfriend have his “man night”, without having to worry if he’s offending you  or preparing for the ear bashing that you’ll launch on him later. Let him get all the immature, jock behavior out of his system, so when he comes home to you, he can revert to that person you like being around. I’m not saying you should sit at home doing needlepoint and waiting for your man to return. Why not get together with your girlfriends for a truly girly night? Just don’t spend the entire night bitching about your boyfriend!

What would YOU do?

Hi guys,

I love my boyfriend, but I can’t stand his friends! They’re immature, disrespectful slobs. All they want to do is drink beer and talk about chicks. My boyfriend turns into a different person when they’re around. I don’t want to tell him that he can’t see his friends anymore, but it’s really starting to put a strain on our relationship.

What do I do?

Ally

She Says:

Ah, yes. You’re referring to the Golden Rule of Manhood, which dictates that all men must turn into Neanderthals when their buddies are in the room. It’s like the sweet guy who, just last night, was telling you how much he likes you, has been abducted by aliens and you’re left wondering if he’ll ever return to Earth again.

The best thing to do in this situation is to use your words. Hopefully your dude’s not actually from the Stone Age and has learned the modern communication tools of talking and listening (complex for some males, I know, but not entirely impossible). Tell him how it makes you feel when you’re chilling with him and the guys: “I feel uncomfortable when your friends make inappropriate jokes,” or “I want to hang out with you and the guys, but I feel awkward when they chug beer and talk about porn.”

Don’t be on the attack and point out his friends’ inability to pick up after themselves or the fact that you know 3-year-olds with more maturity, though, because your boyfriend will defend them and possibly turn against you.

Being honest and telling your boyfriend how you feel doesn’t mean that his butthead friends will change their behavior, but if your guy knows how it makes you feel, he might be less inclined to join in on the buffoonery when you’re around.

He Says:

Guys getting together, drinking too much, talking about girls and acting like imbeciles? Yep, that sounds about right. This is what guys do and it’s not hugely different from how a group of girlfriends act when they get together, except there would be more giggling and less knuckle dragging.

Instead of trying to hang out with the guys, let your boyfriend have his “man night”, without having to worry if he’s offending you  or preparing for the ear bashing that you’ll launch on him later. Let him get all the immature, jock behavior out of his system, so when he comes home to you, he can revert to that person you like being around. I’m not saying you should sit at home doing needlepoint and waiting for your man to return. Why not get together with your girlfriends for a truly girly night? Just don’t spend the entire night bitching about your boyfriend!

What would YOU do?

There was this super hot chick in my Biology class. She was seriously the hottest chick I’d seen since I started university.

I spent most of the class staring at her ‘cause I liked her hair and the way she only ever smiled or laughed if something was funny as balls. I tried all of my class-clown tricks and smart-ass jokes to see that laugh, or at least a smile. Nothing worked.

Then one day, I just asked her out. She said yes and I couldn’t speak. I was so pumped and excited. We planned to meet at the campus pub the next night.

I was nervous before our date, so I went early and had some beers.  I didn’t want to be drunk when she got there, just something to bring back my cool. I was thinking about what she’d look like in a wet t-shirt when she walked into the pub.

“Hey,” she said.

I tried to step down from my barstool to give her a hug and my legs got caught in the rungs and I nosedived to the ground. I felt so embarrassed. And sore. What a disaster.

But from the ground, I could hear her laughing. I had actually made her laugh! She thought something I did was funny! I would have stayed down there forever if it meant that she would keep laughing. But I wanted to see that smile. So I stood up.

And there it was. Like a prize. A gold medal that I had finally won with an embarrassing fall from a barstool. I looked at her and smiled back and we kept laughing and looking at each other.

“God, that was hilarious,” she said, still smiling.

My prize slipped through the gutter, though.  I got cocky, I guess. I was nervous. We were really hitting it off. So I just blurted it out, like a belch:

“You’re so f***ing hot!”

You can imagine it got pretty awkward after that. I know it wasn’t smooth, but I couldn’t stop myself. She stopped laughing and I could see her tense up. Things were going so well, and the mood just changed. We had a drink, and mostly small-talked, but whatever semblance of chemistry I felt between us before was gone. I screwed up. Big time. Go figure.

Phil, 22, Eugene, OR

What would you have done if you were his date? Would you have given him a second chance? Let us know. Maybe it’ll make Phil feel better!

I’m an attractive, 22 year-old guy who is suffering from a severe case of the “you’re too nice” syndrome. If I approach chicks – at a bar, the library, wherever – they usually seem at ease with me and will often engage in conversation. They don’t think I’m some smarmy dude looking to bone them. But when I muster the balls to ask for a number, I always get the “I think we’d be better as friends” line or the girl says that she’s actually just leaving to meet her boyfriend and bolts.

If respecting women, smiling and nodding to show them I’m listening, and opening doors for them is “too nice” then we live in a really effed up world. Matt Damon seems “nice” and he gets laid. Why can’t I?

Help me, please!

Andrew

Andrew, darling,

It’s nice to be nice, but when a guy is too nice, it’s a turn-off for many women.

You’re right – Matt Damon seems like a very nice guy: he uses his celebrity to do charity work, he married a natural, non-Hollywood-type beauty, and he cares about his country’s politics. But the key to his success as a stud is that he’s not too nice. He’s got a sexy, confident swagger and his acting career proves that he’s nobody’s wimp. He seems like the type of guy who would gracefully sweep a gal off her feet and then show her his bedroom throw-down all night long. He can portray himself as a good guy, while still exuding megawatt sex appeal.

Women want a man, not a doormat. And when a guy seems too nice, most women’s internal red flags start flapping as wildly as Joan Rivers’ lips on the red carpet at the Oscars. We want respect, we want to be heard and understood (typical nice-guy behavior), but most of us want our partners to exude airs of confidence and sexual prowess. We want to feel safe around our man, like he would protect us from any dangers that might cross our paths.

I’m not saying that you won’t succeed unless you’re a typical alpha-male, or that you don’t posses any elements of this quality. I’m just saying that if there’s more to you than just being nice (and I’m positive there is), you might be more successful on the dating scene if you show glimmers of this manly ‘tude the next time you chat up a girl, while still showing her that you’re actually a decent guy, too. Blow her mind and prove that you are the embodiment of the desired nice-guy meets warrior.

Good luck!

Susie

I was out for drinks one Thursday night with a bunch of my girlfriends and there was this really cute guy at the next table. You could tell that he was on a first date and that he so wasn’t into it. His date was good-looking with perky, red curls, but her hotness factor plummeted as soon as she opened her mouth, which never, ever stopped flapping. She literally didn’t stop talking. I don’t think she even stopped to catch her breath. The poor guy looked bored out of his pretty skull.

My friends and I were whispering and laughing about what a horrible first date this was and we felt bad for the cute guy who had clearly been set-up with a dud. I excused myself from the table and went to ask the bartender for a napkin. When I came back to the table I said, “Does anybody have a pen?” We all searched our purses and found just about everything except a writing utensil. A fuchsia lip liner was the best we could do.

“What are you doing?” my friends asked, giggling.

When I finished writing, I slid the paper napkin into the middle of the table so that everyone could take a look. It said “Date not going so hot? Call me if you want to meet up afterwards” and then I put my name and number.

As soon as the hunky guy got up and went to the bathroom, I knew that it was now or never. I took my napkin and purse and went up to the bar like I was going to order another cocktail. I waited patiently for a few minutes and when I saw him exit the men’s room, I made my move.

“Hi,” I said, smiling flirtatiously as I stepped into his path.

“Hello,” he said and before I could say my next sentence, I slipped him the napkin and prayed that the makeup hadn’t smudged when I folded it in half. He opened it and his perfect lips spread into a smile.

He looked up at me, smiled radiantly again, and tucked the love note into his pocket. We hadn’t said anything to each other, but I was confident we had made a connection.

Later that night, my friends and I were dancing at a bar down the street from where we had witnessed the nightmare date scene. My phone buzzed. I had a text and it was from Dream Boy: “Where are you? Matt.” It was like we were already friends – no explanation about how he was the guy from the bar that I had tried to pick up. I texted him back and told him where we were and was so giddy when he said he’d be there in ten minutes. I felt my heart drop (I swear it crashed right through the dance floor) when I saw him appear next to me a few minutes later. He smiled and said hi and I returned the gesture.

Matt and I dated for five months and it was awesome. Things didn’t work out because he was a few years older than me and, as my mom says, we were at “different stages” in our lives. We’re still friends, though, and I’m so glad that I had the guts to take a risk that night, because it definitely paid off.

Lindsay, 23, from Madison, WI

Would you have the guts to do what Lindsay did?