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He Said, She Said: My guy’s friends are jerks!

By Katie on 17 November 2009  |  No Comments

Hi guys,

I love my boyfriend, but I can’t stand his friends! They’re immature, disrespectful slobs. All they want to do is drink beer and talk about chicks. My boyfriend turns into a different person when they’re around. I don’t want to tell him that he can’t see his friends anymore, but it’s really starting to put a strain on our relationship.

What do I do?

Ally

She Says:

Ah, yes. You’re referring to the Golden Rule of Manhood, which dictates that all men must turn into Neanderthals when their buddies are in the room. It’s like the sweet guy who, just last night, was telling you how much he likes you, has been abducted by aliens and you’re left wondering if he’ll ever return to Earth again.

The best thing to do in this situation is to use your words. Hopefully your dude’s not actually from the Stone Age and has learned the modern communication tools of talking and listening (complex for some males, I know, but not entirely impossible). Tell him how it makes you feel when you’re chilling with him and the guys: “I feel uncomfortable when your friends make inappropriate jokes,” or “I want to hang out with you and the guys, but I feel awkward when they chug beer and talk about porn.”

Don’t be on the attack and point out his friends’ inability to pick up after themselves or the fact that you know 3-year-olds with more maturity, though, because your boyfriend will defend them and possibly turn against you.

Being honest and telling your boyfriend how you feel doesn’t mean that his butthead friends will change their behavior, but if your guy knows how it makes you feel, he might be less inclined to join in on the buffoonery when you’re around.

He Says:

Guys getting together, drinking too much, talking about girls and acting like imbeciles? Yep, that sounds about right. This is what guys do and it’s not hugely different from how a group of girlfriends act when they get together, except there would be more giggling and less knuckle dragging.

Instead of trying to hang out with the guys, let your boyfriend have his “man night”, without having to worry if he’s offending you  or preparing for the ear bashing that you’ll launch on him later. Let him get all the immature, jock behavior out of his system, so when he comes home to you, he can revert to that person you like being around. I’m not saying you should sit at home doing needlepoint and waiting for your man to return. Why not get together with your girlfriends for a truly girly night? Just don’t spend the entire night bitching about your boyfriend!

What would YOU do?