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Dating Advice: I Have a Crush on My Step-Brother!

By Katie on 14 July 2010  |  No Comments

Dear Sexy Susie,

My mom has met a new man and plans to marry him within the year. The man she is marrying has a son who is around the same age as me. I am really attracted to him and we are getting along nicely. Is it out of bounds to want to date my step brother?

Cynthia, 24, Wichita, KS

Hi Cynthia,

Congratulations to your mother. It sounds like you all are getting along nicely.

Legally speaking your step brother is of no blood relation to you. You could have met him online, at a party, in a church, many other places, you happened to have met him through your mother. You did not grow up with him, hence not seeing him through all the awkward teenage stages in life. You met him as an adult. Those points are in your court.

If he is not into you the same way as you are into him, or if he does not feel it is appropriate to be dating you, you might be putting yourself in a quandary. If you do date him and have a disagreement it might be more complex due to the relations of everyone. He might talk to his dad, who talks to your mom, and the whole family politics take place. On the other hand, if your mom & her partner have an argument that could be difficult for you and your step brother who at that time would be your boyfriend. Those are some points that are against your situation.

A major factor is how your step brother feels about your feelings. When the both of your are alone why not propose to him in an open fashion, “Hey have you ever dated a step sister before”? Laugh, smile when you say it. See his reaction. If he is warm to the idea, poke a little more about it. If he is freaked out by it, or firmly disagrees with it back off. You’ll have an answer either way.

If he is warm to the idea see if you both have something in common (besides your parents). If you both like a tv show, or an activity spend time participating in it. Due to the sensitive nature of family relations, spend time with him in a productive manner, rather than just in the sack. You have lots of time to be with him in an intimate manner, take your time getting to know him.

When you do get to know him, that will bring you more confidence when you go all the way! First base, second, and than a home run! Getting to know him is the hard part, once you have the rest will fall into place.

Whether you do “hook up” or just remain step brother and sister, establish boundaries between the two of you as to what is acceptable or not when it comes to talking, and dealing with your parents. You always have a choice with how you react to things. Don’t make hasty decisions, and think about the pros and cons of your situation and how you would introduce yourself and boyfriend to others. You are the most important person in this, as it matters most how you feel about wanting to, or actually dating your step brother.

Good luck!

Sexy Susie